Where to Start

For the first week of painting we had to bring in our most recent paintings to talk about. Hanneline also had us outline really concrete goals for the semester. I always find it weird to talk about my own work and what I see myself doing.

In painting I mostly enjoy the formal aspects over having goals of conveying a concept. I am mostly interested in light and contrast and what layering or leaving parts of the ground exposed does to the painting. I also like the idea of intricate patterns and highly detailed subjects. I break down images into shapes or maps of color rather than seeing it as the “subject.” The subject is built by layers of color-playing with different transparencies. I like painting to be a logical step by step breakdown that is very controlled. I like exactness.

Before this painting that "subject" has usually been my horse. I can render with paint pretty much anything photorealistically so it was always just a matter of what am I that interested in or in love with that I could paint it over and over again. But after last semester I was getting really unhappy with my paintings. They were going in an abstract direction where I was focusing too much on "what am I trying to say with this." I was trying too hard to make a concept when in fact I really just like to paint what I see and like. As soon as I let go of that I felt like I realized that the concept comes out of me doing what I do best- it can't be forced.

With this painting came a lot of experimentation, but it also just came down to me approaching it the way I used to when it was Painting I and we received basic assignments on what to paint. I painted what I saw. I created the image from other images and my own photographs with the help of a friend. And then I copied it in Cezannes manner of breaking down everything into shapes of color. The picture came apart as I zoomed in and focused on small areas. Things don't get identified by what they are but by the amount of light and the shade of color on them. I literally made myself maps of one color at a time and overlayed them. Focusing on all those shapes in turn made the big picture into something more than what I started with.

New York City happened to be my choice of subject because I was painting it with a person in mind to give it to, but the subject matter works with my ideas nonetheless. NYC is fast, its complicated. The people I know and the experiences I have there make me connected to it and its energy. I like getting into the details of it and although it is populr subject matter I feel I approach it in a way all my own. It's my picture of the city and the lights. It's me in a place I never thought I'd be and finding out that it looks much different than I expected.

That has been a theme in my life in a way anyway. Thinking I know the big picture, diving head first into the details, only to find I had no idea what the picture looked like in the first place. So I'm starting with what I know and we will see where it goes.